It's never quite what it seems.

I recieved a message today that's made me very uneasy. It was a message from a dear friend, and it wasn't the first of its type. I can't even respond b/c I just feel like a huge disappointment, and I don't want to be that to those people. Not them, they've done too much for me. What should I do? How do I go about keeping these friendships that are so important to me? I messed up, and I'm truly sorry for the way I over-reacted. But it's done now. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time and it gets me into trouble. When I'm stressed... I believe it's much worse. And when that happens, honestly, I just don't want to be me.
This journal entry isn't for show or even an effort to mend what's happened. I just need to get some of it out into the open. I'm just not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just be done with it all and not subject these fine folks to my erratic behavior any longer. But on the other hand, I can't just leave. It's too much a part of my life, and the relationships are far too important to just let go.

I feel sick over it. I just don't know.

"I wanna do better... I wanna try harder..."

...

Just one thing...

Go Colts!

10-0.

Blah Blah Blah

So, I'm gonna update my journal sometime in the near future... I hope.
I really enjoy doing it, I just never have the time to sit around and piece together my thoughts and feelings. Bah. I'm gonna be moving to the "happier" side of Norwood in about 2 weeks(I can't believe how fast the time goes). I'm ready... it's gonna be really hectic with finals/the end of the quarter/work... but I'm ready. Honestly, I just want to get it over with so I can feel settled.

So... I've got a lot of reading to do. I've been trying to read 2 books, plus school stuff. OH my goodness, I just remembered something! ...

Anyhoo, I may or may not update in a few days b/c i may or may not have something exciting going on. :)

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