Thanksgiving...

This post is inspired by a thread in the Orchard.

Thanksgiving is probably my favourite holiday. Friends, family, and food.
I love the feeling in the air. Generally, everyone is friendly and excited to see one another. The house is warm, and no one is expecting anything. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade is on the t.v. in the morning, and football in the afternoon. My mother spends her day cooking. (it's like an art form) The food is exceptional and you can feel the approaching Christmas spirit. This may be a bit more romantic than it actually is, but that's the fun part. I do love this holiday.

This year I'm thankful for...

• life, and learning it's much better than the alternative.
• my parents, and they're generosity. (i love you, mom)
• my sister and brother. i can't wait to see them.
• my extended family.
• my dear friends. i miss everyone so much.
• my roommate. i'm ever grateful for what he's provided and how much he's done to help me out. thank you.
• the Orchard. joining in that community last spring was exactly what i needed. you made a sad girl smile way more than she ever thought she could. thank you.
• someone, in the past year, who's taught me a lot about growing up. you've been more important than i've lead on. you're only you, and it's beautiful.
• new friend(s), and laughing. i'm looking forward...
• folks who give just to give.
• my new apartment. the folks who hooked me up with said apartment, my generous landlords, and the community sorrounding my apt.
• for feelings and thoughts. maybe this doesn't make sense. but, i'm thankful that i can take the time and appreciate the small things in life.
• and last but not least... books, music, and writing. my outlets.

...

I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving. Friends, you're in my thoughts. I love most of you. :)

sense of belonging

so, tonite I was invited to a small group thingy... "house church" is what they call it.

first off, it was held across the street from my new apartment. so it was cool saying, "yeah i'm moving in across the street in a month." :)

also, i didn't feel awkward at all. the folks who invited me, the ones i actually know their names, weren't there. normally in this type of situation, i sorta freeze up and become very backwards and shy. but i felt .... welcomed. and for the first time since i've been living in Cincinnati... i felt like i could call it "home" for the time being.... a very warm and much needed feeling. i cannot wait until i move into my apartment, and into that little community.
...

i don't want to whine or complain. but if anyone could send out some good vibes in the way of financial stresses... i'm all for it. i mean, i can live in my apartment w/o furniture, right? heh.

also, thanks to my dear friends who leave comments here. i don't always get the time to respond. but i appreciate the thoughts and the time you take to leave the message.

goodnite. and i miss you, whoever you are.

it's been a while.

i haven't posted in a few weeks, mainly b/c i've been to busy to sit down and think of what i want to say. i shouldn't be doing it now, but my head might explode.

after hearing the election results a bit ago, i feel rather "blah". i don't know who has the right answers, but it certainly doesn't make sense to keep handing out the wrong ones. i feel helpless, and quite sad.

there have been two other issues bothering me as of late. i'd rather not mention names nor go into the whole dramatic story.
these "issues"... i'm saying goodbye to. one forever, one just for now. it's just not worth the time i put into it. i wish it were, especially the one "here and now". that's the hard truth, i suppose. i guess i just want more than what is actually available. ... whatever that is??

actually, you know... i will mention one... my ex. what a self-absorbed, delusional asshole. seriously. apparently he lives in some mystery state... my sister was told he doesn't want anyone to know where he is. anyone = me or my family.
every time something comes up about the war... i just get really really pissed. i spent months supporting my ex while he was over there. countless letters, emails, and packages to make his days go better. sure, that was my job. but what did i get for it? nothing. it's totally more than that, i just can't express myself enuf. you spend these nights not sleeping or crying b/c you might get a knock on your door with the worst news you could imagine. and then, you're told you didn't love him and was too selfish to see it? pardon, but that is just crap.
the "funny" thing is, (and it might not seem like it) but i've moved on. just sometimes, certain things bring up unsettled feelings b/c there was absolutely no closure in Japan. and to whom it may concern: get over yourselves, you have no idea and you're just weird.
(/rant.)

i'm really okay... i just needed to vent. now i must study...