Hmm...

I'm trying to decide if I like these. I thought it'd be fun to mess around with them on a photoshop-type program. They really don't look anything like the original shots.

Norwood Scenery...

Not your cup o' tea? So.

. . .

Happy? New Year.

Hi folks.

I've been rather bored with myself lately. The holidays are over, I'm jobless, school is starting back up, and my creativity is, um, lazy.

How are you? I'm not gonna ask you had a "good" Christmas or how you "rang" in the new year. I feel so blah. Can ya tell? :)

The cable bill is due. and by "due" i mean overdue. MySpace is addicting during boredom. I took my tree down last nite. Normally, that makes me sad. Not this year. I didn't even get buzzed on New year's eve. I have an interest in a guy I hardly know. But I don't think it's mutual. I miss...
I'm feeling really restless and kind of sad. I think it partially has to do with the weather. Partially b/c somedays I'd rather be living the life of someone else. I should have looked for a job today, but I figure I should feel confident when I do that... so, maybe Wednesday. I'm not trying to sound depressing... I feel like I have a.d.d. I can't focus on one thought for nothin'! It's kind of a crazy feeling but also helps me be more productive. Just takes longer to get things done. Heh. I'm listening to Kim Taylor. She's got it goin' on. I'm thinking about spending my xmas money on Crest Whitestrips(R). I reeally don't want to spend it on bills. I did that last year and for my birthday. I kind of deserve to have to spend it on responsibility, I just don't want to. I want whiter teeth. I miss my brother, and I hope my sister is doing alrite. I should call her. Casie just called, she needs help picking out furniture but didn't call me before she left. She's calling again. I wonder why I wasn't born closer to the ocean. Like, some people might say that if I were born closer to the (beloved) ocean... I might not love it as much. But that is oh-so not true.
It's really storming. I just thought of something. Today has reminded me of being in Japan... the weather, anyway. It was January and 60 degress, no sun. I bet that's the reason. For my mood.

I need to do the dishes.

"I love you more than I can say..."

. . .

I'll leave you with a picture of my friend's daughter. She's so beautiful.

Narcissism and a Poll.

So...

I straightened my hair tonite and I'm wondering what you fine folks might think of it.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit 2:

How do you like my hair?
	Curly?
	Straight?
	You don't really give a rat's ace?
	You think I should shave my head and give it to "locks of love"?
	Your mother.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Greetings, ya'll...

I just wanna step in rite quick to thank my friends for reading/leaving comments in my journal. Sometimes, it just seems to make life a little easier knowing I have some real genuine folks in my life.

Some lyrics have been lining my thoughts today, and of course they're from OtR.

"Courage is a weapon we must use, to find some life we can't refuse... ".

. . .

Love,
kylie

Blah Blah Blah...

So, life can be quite overwhelming.

In the news: I'm digging the new apartment over here on Hazel Avenue.
It's so gloriously vintage! I'll try and get some pictures posted when I get my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA! :) (... kinda excited about that) I haven't been able to unpack everything just yet... Hopefully that will change this weekend.
Finals are this week... tonite's exam wasn't too bad... but the A & P final is a completely different story. Lots o' studying on the way.
My job at the park is ending in less than 2 weeks. So, I have to find something else... soon. I guess I'll start looking next week. I haven't had time to even think about it until, well... until after Thursday. :) So, we'll see. Wish me luck.

Previously, I had something "exciting" to post about, but that's over now. I'd started seeing a young fella about a month ago... but I just didn't feel like it was working out. He's a great guy, just not for me.

OtR's Xmas tour is kicking off... including the Taft show coming up very soon. I'm hoping for a magical nite. I'm excited.

So, there you go.

Life is crazy.

Also, if anyone in the area wants a free massage(tips accepted)... let me know. I'm trying to get the ball rolling. You know you wanna. ;)

I hope you're enjoying the frickin' freezing weather we're having!

I'll talk to you soon.
. . .

It's never quite what it seems.

I recieved a message today that's made me very uneasy. It was a message from a dear friend, and it wasn't the first of its type. I can't even respond b/c I just feel like a huge disappointment, and I don't want to be that to those people. Not them, they've done too much for me. What should I do? How do I go about keeping these friendships that are so important to me? I messed up, and I'm truly sorry for the way I over-reacted. But it's done now. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time and it gets me into trouble. When I'm stressed... I believe it's much worse. And when that happens, honestly, I just don't want to be me.
This journal entry isn't for show or even an effort to mend what's happened. I just need to get some of it out into the open. I'm just not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just be done with it all and not subject these fine folks to my erratic behavior any longer. But on the other hand, I can't just leave. It's too much a part of my life, and the relationships are far too important to just let go.

I feel sick over it. I just don't know.

"I wanna do better... I wanna try harder..."

...

Just one thing...

Go Colts!

10-0.

Blah Blah Blah

So, I'm gonna update my journal sometime in the near future... I hope.
I really enjoy doing it, I just never have the time to sit around and piece together my thoughts and feelings. Bah. I'm gonna be moving to the "happier" side of Norwood in about 2 weeks(I can't believe how fast the time goes). I'm ready... it's gonna be really hectic with finals/the end of the quarter/work... but I'm ready. Honestly, I just want to get it over with so I can feel settled.

So... I've got a lot of reading to do. I've been trying to read 2 books, plus school stuff. OH my goodness, I just remembered something! ...

Anyhoo, I may or may not update in a few days b/c i may or may not have something exciting going on. :)

...

Exactly How I Feel...

"We write these songs[words] because we want to feel things deeply and listen well to our lives. So in times of loss, maybe we feel a bit more than we wish we did, and this makes it exceptionally painful."
-l.d.

More later...

Not well.

So, as if life's outlook hasn't been uncertain enough lately... today I got final word on the apartment situation. I have to be out November 31st. That's a month and a half to find something different. Thanks, landlord. I'm quite upset. I never planned on moving out a year after I moved into this place... I love it. I've decorated in accordance with the colors of the walls. I planned on living here as long as I was in school. This sucks so much. And on top of having to move... my roommate is strongly thinking about moving out on her own. She's lived with other girls for 6 years now... I understand she wants to have her own stuff, and live in a bigger place, and be on her own. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be on my own. Which... "has nothing to do with her". It's already pretty lonely most days. I don't have a lot of friends I can just call to go out to dinner or whatever. I don't want to live alone.
It's bordering on being too much to handle. Truly. I don't know how in the world I'm gonna find a place in this small amount of time. Right around the holidays, near the end of my 3rd quarter of school, cold weather, so much uncertainty. (God, give me strength.)
It just feels like I've had a lot of bad luck recently and I'm worn down. Mentally and physically.The car accident sure didn't help matters. I know ("deep down") it will work out. But man, I feel like quitting. And obviously, this is the "upset Kylie" talking. I don't know where to look for the positive, I don't even feel like I have time for that.
This is so blah-blah. But, it's my journal and I guess this is what it's for. Hopefully in a day or two... I'll have found the better side of this situation.
Just send some prayers or good thoughts towards Norwood.
As always, thanks for reading. Have a good day.

...

It's good...

So I had the opportunity to see the Reds, for the 3rd time... for free... seats just above the dugout. So, the picture isn't that great... but look how close we were sitting!!!
Sweet.


Someday... I'm gonna see the Cubs from seats this close. And all will be well with my soul. :) Sometimes, I really enjoy this city.
I went with my friend from work, Angie. Her boyfriend hooked us up with the tix(and some nachos, hotdogs, and beer). Haha.
We had such a good time... we even made the BIG SCREEN. How cool is that?!



I tried to start the wave... but did not have the success I had at the last Reds game I attended. Did I tell you about it? No? Oh... I started the wave and it went half-way around the stadium. Cool, huh? :)
So anyhoo... the fellas on the right side of us agree to do the wave. They were fun. But when I asked the old(and I mean "old") dude on the other side... he replied, "Nooooooooo". As if I'd asked him to shave the hair off of his right arm. He was not fun. But that's ok.
I took my baseball glove... but nothing came within range. Bah.

So that was a fun nite.

I have more exciting news. And another picture.
My crew-leader at the park showed me how to run two of our mowers. A John Deer "zero turn" and a bigger machine called a Kubota. So what did I do at work... I cut grass. That's rite... I'm a grass-cutter. I cut grass. :) Yay!
I dorked out and had them take a picture of me...



It's too bad you can't see my raging biceps and steel-toe boots. ;)

So, anyhoo... Thanks for reading. I'll talk to you soon.
. . .

Must listen...

This is some of the best music you'll ever hear. Listen. Now!

http://www.crowmedicine.com/

Listen to 'Wagon Wheel'... or watch the video.

Cinci folks... they're playing at the Southgate House on October 21st!

Go on. Listen. :)

Cryptic.

I wish it didn't have to be this way.

Hattiesburg, MS

I used to know some folks from Mississippi. If you read this, I sincerely hope you're all ok.

Peace.

www.redcross.org

Dear Diary...

So I walked into Caribou Coffee tonite during our break from class. I felt suddenly lonely. Or alone. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference. I reminisced about the last time I was in a Caribou Coffee. It must have been 2 years ago. I remember the aroma of the air around us and the scent of the unexpected rain as we sat outside drinking our 'caramel coolers'. We giggled and talked about the drive home. And our plans for the near future. It was nice. And perfect.
There's so much I don't understand. And I truely hope I don't have to live my entire life that way.(I know, I know... I'm young.) I'd give anything to know why.
My heart is heavy. All of these thoughts are clouding my mind, and there's no reason for it, really. I feel like puking.

Blah blah blah.

All that is Airy...

This is my beautiful little boy, my perfect bundle of joy. Haha. This is my new kitten... Harrold Airy Forrest Wilkerson. Or "Airy" for short. I found him at the park while I was at work a coupla weeks ago.
His interests are biting Kylie's fingers/toes/ankles, sitting in the window sill, climbing on everything in the apartment, sitting on shoulders, and being the cutest kitten in the world. :)