it's been a while.

i haven't posted in a few weeks, mainly b/c i've been to busy to sit down and think of what i want to say. i shouldn't be doing it now, but my head might explode.

after hearing the election results a bit ago, i feel rather "blah". i don't know who has the right answers, but it certainly doesn't make sense to keep handing out the wrong ones. i feel helpless, and quite sad.

there have been two other issues bothering me as of late. i'd rather not mention names nor go into the whole dramatic story.
these "issues"... i'm saying goodbye to. one forever, one just for now. it's just not worth the time i put into it. i wish it were, especially the one "here and now". that's the hard truth, i suppose. i guess i just want more than what is actually available. ... whatever that is??

actually, you know... i will mention one... my ex. what a self-absorbed, delusional asshole. seriously. apparently he lives in some mystery state... my sister was told he doesn't want anyone to know where he is. anyone = me or my family.
every time something comes up about the war... i just get really really pissed. i spent months supporting my ex while he was over there. countless letters, emails, and packages to make his days go better. sure, that was my job. but what did i get for it? nothing. it's totally more than that, i just can't express myself enuf. you spend these nights not sleeping or crying b/c you might get a knock on your door with the worst news you could imagine. and then, you're told you didn't love him and was too selfish to see it? pardon, but that is just crap.
the "funny" thing is, (and it might not seem like it) but i've moved on. just sometimes, certain things bring up unsettled feelings b/c there was absolutely no closure in Japan. and to whom it may concern: get over yourselves, you have no idea and you're just weird.
(/rant.)

i'm really okay... i just needed to vent. now i must study...