This wasn't supposed to happen.
Wow, it's been a rough coupla weeks. Break-ups...
I just don't understand... well, he thinks I just don't accept. We'll see.
I don't like to leave things unresolved, so on a whim I tried to fix that... it was going as well as could be expected and then took a turn for the worse...and now I'm supposed to let go. Interesting.
Love is... Well, let me ask a question to all the fine folks who read my journal. Do you think love is a choice?
I'm not sure how I feel about it being a choice. But then, I'm a "feeler". Some people think too much.
Pain is a reality of life. I would rather love than choose to feel pain. That's just me.
God, I miss "that feeling".
This wasn't supposed to happen.
I did a crazy thing this past weekend... as if driving 8 hours wasn't insane... I made the the "4 hour" trek to New York. I knew I needed to be around folks who care about me. I needed friends, and the drive was well worth it. We walked, and walked, and... walked. One of the coolest parts was seeing where John Lennon was shot and killed. There is so much to see in that city. Times Square is unreal... sorta like "why?"
I would definitely like to go back. Note to self: wear clogs or athletic shoes next time.
Keith, Bill, Mariesa... Thank you from the deepest part of my heart. And thanks for the "LOVE STINKS" tshirt... it goes nicely with my broken heart!
And thanks to Jane and Julie for making me smile and such. And thanks to Karin and Linford for making a girl feel like everything's gonna be alrite.
This kindness and generosity is beyond me. I had a wonderful time exploring NYC with wonderful people. You just have no idea how much I needed it.
And yet, it wasn't supposed to happen.
I had so many thoughts running thru my head, and now it feels blank. How frustrating.
Oh, I feel a little lost. Love is so complicated. ::scream::
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I feel now.
3 comments:
anonymous might really be amanda...you decide. anyway, goodness, i must so behind on your life...we don't talk nearly enough anymore! you're busy, i'm busy...but it's sad, huh? so, i just saw that you were back online and thought i'd check on you. call me sometime, ok?
k-dawg!
i'm so sorry. wish i could make the pain go away really fast. keep in touch! someone in the 'ville will always love you!
peace,
zayne
And yet, it wasn't supposed to happen.
and yet it did. in the words of the immortal john lennon (always remember, afterall, you stood on the "imagine" mosaic) "life is what happens while you are busy making other plans".
and also remember the words of another writer we all love; "Yeah, we're gonna be alright.
You can close your eyes tonight,
'cause we're gonna be alright."
you have many friends that will always be there to help you through, yeah, you're gonna be alright.
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